Friday, March 16, 2012

This woman is CRAZY!

"This woman is CRAZY!  Completely out of her mind and making no sense at all." say the voice in my husband's head,  or so I imagine.   My husband, like so many others, is very simple on what "needs" to be done to get by each day.  He needs to go to work, eat, sleep, surf the Internet, watch TV, help out around the house enough that I don't kill him, take care of his other commitments and whenever possible-attempt marital activities.  His what does not need done list is a much more detailed list and strangely pretty identical to my must be done list.  These things include but are not limited to (and in no specific order)make dinner, do dishes, clean up after pets, clean up after kids, clean up after spouse, do laundry, review children's school papers, insure homework is done, eat, keep kids from killing each other, bath kids, schedule everything and remember it,  check inventories and shop accordingly, etc etc etc, whenever possible attempt surfing the Internet, watching TV or marital activities.  I know this is the life of a mom but I'm not sure he does.  Last night I did my normal Thursday evening cleansing of our home.  This is not cleaning per say it is more cleansing of inappropriate items from each area.  Let's go over the top things I remember.  Remove empty plate and easy mac container from between couch cushions, move used pull up from end stand and floor to inside of trash can, scoop kitty litter and remove 2# kicked out from carpet around litter box, find don't spill the beans game and put hands that hold bucket back in, deodorize carpets and run sweeper to pick up remains of all things the dog has eaten, remove clothing not seen under sofa from sweeper hose.  Next room put all the shoes back where they belong in the shoe rack instead of on the floor, hang giant pile of coats that cover the chair to put your shoes on and floor,  move buried dirty clothes basket to the basement,  take "found" lunch boxes to kitchen to be dealt with, pick up all things cats have knocked down from entry way stand, clean excess papers from desk, sweep up what appears to be a spare cat made only from hair.  Next room "file" all the lovely things my children have crafted for me today,  put away crafting materials, pick up all chewed up or played with (destroyed) items,  move all shed clothing to basement,  return all other mislaid items to their rightful home, sweep up another spare cat.  Next room find sink, put away all spices we own that are all over the kitchen because they were used,  garbage sweep counters (this is what I call it when I have to pick up misc garbage from counter; you know lids off of cans, food packaging, egg shells),  sweep up a confetti mixture of coco puffs, crushed fruit loops, dog food, pencil pieces and sugar,  put second load of dishes in washer, remove ice stuck jammed in dispense (thanks Lyd) that is causing the freezer door to kick open.  Next would be to take care of anything necessary for my other commitments or for work.  Now after all this I am taking a rest in the living room and tell my husband that I would like to mop the floors while everything is actually off of them so he will needs to bath the kids.  Even though he knows not to say it, his face gave him away and said, "You are CRAZY! Who cares is the floor is mopped."  And in that moment I realized that's why relationships are necessary because if we weren't together he would eat oodles of noodles and drink mt dew for every meal out of the same bowl and spoon rinsing them out right before he would eat.  More seriously he could suffer a devastating fate of tripping over all the things that are never picked up, fall into something that was spilled and never cleaned and be unable to get up because of how sticky it is, and then the cat hair would cover him until he was encased in it like a mummy.  Wooh thank god he has me!  In all fairness he does things that I wouldn't do if he wasn't there but at the moment they have slipped my mind.  After all this is about how great I am if he wants his side heard...let him start his own blog.    

Love you Dan! And thanks for always having my back when I'm CRAZY.