Do's and Don't for the physically fit challenged

I have never been the picture of physical fitness.  Wait I'm wrong I was born a normal weight but it went down hill from there.  As most women I have dieted on and off for most of my life.  Some things worked some didn't.  I even had on of those trendy weight loss surgeries awhile back and while I would call it successful I still didn't hit my goal and here we are years later and my body doesn't like being over weight anymore and it tells me so.  Oh yes every morning I wake up to cracks and pops and pain shooting from various appendages.  It takes my body at least 30 minutes longer to wake up than my brain and internal organs.  Several months ago I started a "life style change"  and have had some success.  My husband and I also purchased some exercise equipment.  He got a home gym and I got an elliptical machine.  Today was my first morning on the elliptical and I learned several do's and don't.  Read closely this could save someones life or at least their pride.

• Do wear comfortable clothes.
• Do wear a bra.  Great pain can occur when you are delirious from working out for a few minutes and body parts are flopping everywhere and they come in contact with oh lets say a hand or even worse moving handle to your exercise equipment.
• Do take water or other beverage (preferably non alcohol) for hydration
• Do set up a play list of uplifting music to keep you going when you want to stop.
• Do set a goal for how long you want to exercise.
• Do establish proper ventilation and climate control in exercise area.
• Do establish a work out routine and stick with it.

Now the more important ones the don't!

• Don't wear spandex or any other material that can burst into flames at a high rate of chub rub.
• Don't work out in front of people until you have build up endurance.  After all you don't want people watching you pant like a Siberian Husky in the middle of July in Texas.
• Don't pick an area that is dark musty and over populated by kitty litter boxes.  After the work out has ended (or you have passed out) there is a chance for your new and improved jello legs to let you down and you fall face first into lets just say a bad place.
• Don't let your kids, or anyone else for that matter, video the workout in an effort to show you ways to improve.  Your doing just fine and don't need that type of photographic proof your an idiot.
• Don't forget tie your shoes or thing oh I'll get them in a second because in your concentration to get to the next level you may not notice that said shoe lace has wrapped itself around a moving part and you are now stuck to your new workout equipment.  Really, really stuck.
• Don't take yourself to serious and try to have fun with it.  After all this really is about getting healthier and laughing burns a lot of calories.  I would look up how many but I'm exhausted from my workout this morning so figure it out yourself.

7 Habits of .....

Most of us have heard of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.  What I am looking for is a book on the 7 Habits of Mom's with a Clean House.  I'm pretty sure that one of the tips would be to never sleep.  See I've been cleaning for three days.  Yesterday was my son's birthday party so of course I spent Friday cleaning the normal weekly dirt and disaster.  Yesterday, party day, I cleaned all the stuff I didn't get to and thought was really to gross for non-residents of the house to experience.  Because of the heat our party was an indoor/outdoor pool party so the house was filled with water, sprinkles, cake crumbs, crushed chips, and many other miscellaneous things.  Today I have spend cleaning up party dirt and dishes.  At one point in my life I never cared about having a clean or presentable house.  I never cared if there where any clean dishes in the cupboard.  I never cared if the floor was crunchy.  And life was good but now for some reason, I think it's for my kids, I care about those things and so much more.  This is really ironic because my kids are the reason, for the most part, the house is a disaster.  The birthday boys decided to get up at 630 and play with his presents which included 2 Lego sets totalling about 300+ pieces.  I now have a lovely Lego carpet in the living room.  Which leads me to some of the other tips.  Lock your children in one room and all their toys in another only allowing them to be together for 15 minute increments several times a week.  Only buy your children one outfit and one pair of shoes.  This will not allow them to put clothing and shoes all over the floor.  On a side note it also makes getting dressed in the morning much easier.  No more what will I wear, but that's another book.  Only allow them to eat in a the bathtub or back porch that way any crumbs or spills can quickly be dealt with.  The rest of the tips are a mystery to me or how you would get your children to comply with these tips.  Personally, I have said it before and I'll say it again.  I am waiting for the Rubbermaid Corporation to start building homes.  Just imagine the easy of cleaning your favorite storage containers in a house.  Just bring out a powerful garden hose or for really big messes a power washer and have at it.  If needed you can always use your favorite spray or degreaser.  And after the soak down it can easily be wiped dry or given a little more time it would dry in no time flat.  Now that is a real tip and as soon as production starts I'm outta here.  Happy Cleaning to you all.